theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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