She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
