my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
