My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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