Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
