they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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