Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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