did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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