she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
