whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
