How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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