she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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