i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
