Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
