I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
