I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize