ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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