you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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