i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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