have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
