Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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