i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Everclear isn't food dammit
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
