Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Randomize
