i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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