can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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