i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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