I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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