at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
