That's intense
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
