They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
