i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
