If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
