Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It's official drugs can't kill me
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
