I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
