this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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