I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
