Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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