I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I love how my cats smell like pot.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
