Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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