Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
