i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
dude. I can hear the air.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
