I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
