You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
