Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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