There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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