so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
