there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
