wanna go halves on a baby?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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