I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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