Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
