After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
