we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
