i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
