I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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