Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Couch. On fire.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
