TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
