its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
