I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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