oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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