I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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