they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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